Lessons I learned on the soccer field

1412.soccerI watched my last three soccer games for the season last Saturday. Yes indeed, back-to-back games, carrying my folding chair from one field to another, I sat on the sidelines, waving my pom-poms madly to encourage all the players. My two grandsons and my granddaughter played their hearts out for their grand finale games. One win, one tie, one loss. To me, they were all winning games. It wasn’t the score that impressed me, it was the team attitude, perseverance, and effort that made them all winners. They gave their all; they played their best.

It’s always interesting to observe and listen to the parents around me during the games. One dad’s words were so tender and kind to his young son, who was struggling as a goalie and felt defeated. His dad’s words were just what he needed to instill confidence that he could block that ball—and he did, the next time the ball came at the goal. I know the dad’s words could have as easily crushed the young boy. I’ve seen that happen too.

One single mom never missed a game, even though she had to rearrange her work schedule to be there. She always came right when the game started. I watched her daughter as she spotted her mother on the sidelines every week. She smiled as their eyes met.

Another dad was on his cell phone texting the entire game. I saw his son keep looking over at the sidelines to see if his dad was watching him. His dad missed his son’s winning goal.

A mom sat down and pulled out a book that she read the entire time. Several couples were preoccupied in a conversation with each other.

They missed the moment to cheer a great move, to thumbs-up a winning pass, to soothe a fumble with encouragement, or show compassion with a defeat.

Just watching your children in a sport, a play, a recital—anything they’re involved in– speaks volumes without a word said.

A kind, encouraging, or positive word speaks volumes too.

What I observed on the soccer field, I took home with me for the holidays.

There are times during Christmas that I’m too preoccupied with my own agenda, and my own busy schedule. I’m focused on checking off my gift list, my grocery list, getting my house decorated, getting gifts wrapped…and on and on, so that…

I forget to look up and notice someone who needs a kind word of encouragement.

I miss the sadness in someone’s eyes because I wasn’t watching.

I don’t seize the moment to cheer on someone who feels defeated and needs to feel hope.

I get so self-absorbed that I’m oblivious to what’s going on around me, or right in front of me.

Oh Lord, may I not just watch, but see.

May I not just hear, but listen.

May I not just observe, but speak.

___________________

My friends, may the love of Christ flow in you and through you to permeate others with a fragrance of kindness and encouragement this holiday season.

But thanks be to God..who manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place. For we are a fragrance of Christ….  II Corinthians 2:14-15

Merry Christmas my friends!

Spread the joy of Jesus,

Susan Miller signature

Leave the light on

leave the light onI don’t know about you, but I always waited up for our teenagers when they were out after dark. One of the things I would say as they walked out the door was, “I’ll leave the light on for you, don’t be too late.” Even now that they’ve grown, and have children of their own, I leave the light on when they come to visit, until everyone is home and settled in.

Mama did the same thing for my brother and me when we were growing up. I vividly remember the porch light being on. The glow of a pretty lamp with a scalloped lampshade and painted flowers around the base, sat on a table in our living room and beckoned me inside. The light exuded the comfort and security of being home. The place where I was expected and belonged.

At some point in our lives, we need to know that someone has left the light on for us. A light that says, I care. You are loved. This is where you belong. Welcome back home.

We never outgrow that need. Whether you have children (or grandchildren) at home, going off to college, starting a first job, or newly married, as they venture out, remember to tell them, “I’ll leave the light on for you….”

And, by the way, just a gentle reminder – Jesus ALWAYS leaves His light on for YOU.

He’s waiting for you to come home.

           He’s expecting you.

                   You’ve been gone too long.

                           Oh, and don’t worry – no questions asked about where or why.

                                   His open arms will embrace you with the unconditional love you so desperately need.  

He’ll leave the light on ‘til you arrive…

From My Heart,
Susan Miller signature

I am the light of the world; he who follows Me shall not walk in the darkness, but shall have the light of life. John 8:12

Your word is a lamp to my feet, and a light to my path. Psalm 119:105

12 summer challenges to do or not to do

flowerJune will be here soon, and I’m already breathing in the anticipation of slowing down. For the three months of summer, I thirst for a calendar that is less scheduled, more random acts of fun, and frivolous times spent with family and friends. And yet at the same time, I don’t want to waste away the months and find myself thinking in September, “What in the world did I accomplish over the summer?”

All that said, I want to keep a few challenges in mind, something that I can choose daily to do or not to do. They are not necessarily tasks to accomplish, but rather an attitude of the heart, a mindset, or a conscious choice in words or actions.

You might consider coming up with your own list, or even choosing some of mine. Yes, let’s seize the summer for a change of pace, but also seize the challenge to make daily choices in our attitudes, words, or actions.

Begin anywhere, just begin. 

Hold hands around the table and say grace before each meal. 

Spread random acts of kindness without anyone knowing you did. 

Take time to say, “Tell me your story.”  Then take time to listen. 

Be the last to criticize, the first to praise. 

Spend less, give more. 

Wear a smile, even when you don’t feel like it. It will begin to grow on you. 

Go the extra mile…for a friend or for your favorite ice cream.

Live in the present. Not the past. Not the future. 

See all the good around you, even if you have to squint. 

Be loving to the unlovable, even when you don’t feel like it. It may not change them, but it will change you. 

Be yourself, nobody does it better.

I’d love to hear about your summer challenges too. Email me at susanmiller@justmoved.org and let me know what you’re doing, where you’re going, and how I can pray for you.

In the meantime, be safe my friends. Make happy memories and take pictures, and when September comes, you’ll have a summer to remember.

Susan Miller signature

Run the Race

run the race“I’m going to run in the Pat Tillman race,” she said.

“That sounds great,” he replied.

“It’s only 4.2 miles. I know we could do it,” she continued.

Running had become a bond between a brother and sister as they grew up, and as they got older over the years.

Even though they lived in different states, there was a competitive edge between them when they trained for a race. “I ran 5 miles today,” he would say. “I ran 5 ½ miles,” she would respond with a smile. It was the motivation needed to reach a common goal together. Their claim to fame had been running a half marathon and crossing the finish line side by side.

“I’ll be traveling with my family that weekend, so there’s no way I can be there,” he explained.

“Oh, okay,” she answered, with a hint of disappointment.

On the day of the race, she got up at 5:00am to get ready and quietly slip out of the house while her family was sleeping.

Her phone beeped. It was a text that said, “I’ll be thinking of you this morning. Good luck in the race.”

She smiled. His text was the encouragement she needed as she got in the car and drove to the city to find her place among thousands of runners.

An hour later, she was at the starting point when her phone beeped again with another text.treadmill

The words simply read, “I’m with you this morning. Check out the treadmill. Have fun.” She took a closer look at the picture. The numbers displayed on the treadmill read 4.2 miles.

Tears came to her eyes. He had gotten up when she did, gone down to the hotel workout room, and ran the exact distance of the race!

He had run the distance to encourage her on to victory, and indeed he did.

My daughter, Ginger, finished the race in record time, and my son, Bill, had been right there for his sister,  like so many other times over the years– in spirit and support.

Sometimes all it takes is for someone to “be there” for us, believe in our ability, or come alongside us when we need encouragement to reach a goal, push through circumstances, or take the next hard step in life.

Take a minute and think of who you know that needs an extra measure of kindness and thoughtfulness today. It could be as simple as words in a text or a caring gesture that expresses your support.

It just might spur them on to the victory line.

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For a time such as this

God is faithful

Have you ever walked away from a perfect day that left a smile on your face and memories in your heart? I had a day like that at our Spring Luncheon and Auction to benefit Just Moved Ministry. Oh, you would have loved it too! Our theme was “ Stepping Stones of Faithfulness,” and 200 women enjoyed the ambiance of a beautiful place overlooking spring flowers and a lake, stunning decorations, connecting with friends, browsing (and buying) our amazing auction items, and a wonderful three-course lunch served in grand style. Over 30 volunteers, and our staff, worked months to plan, prepare, and create; and gave sacrificially their time and talent to make it a glorious day.

As part of the program, some of our newcomers shared their stepping stone of God’s faithfulness in their move. One young woman said her stone was “trust”, and that she had learned to trust God with the unwanted changes that have altered her life since moving. Another woman’s stone was “joy”, and she shared how God returned joy to her life and her marriage since she moved.  As  woman after woman shared her testimony, wrapped with God’s faithfulness, emotions were stirred throughout the room, and there wasn’t a dry eye among us.

It was fun and enlightening for everyone as I shared how far and wide our Moving On After Moving In groups reach:

From Florida to AlaskaMoving On groups around the world

Ohio to California

Hawaii to Virginia

Louisiana to Belgium

Kentucky to Iowa

Arkansas to Montana

North Carolina to The Netherlands!

And then all the women loved hearing the quote posted on the Just Moved Facebook page from the leader of the Ex-pats group in The Netherlands:

“What do Malaysia, Taiwan, Russia, Brazil, Greece, the Netherlands and the US have in common? All those nationalities have been represented at Just Moved Eindhoven!” (A town in The Netherlands.)

I will savor the sweetness of that day for a long time. I am reminded that Just Moved not only has an impact on lives for Christ all over the world, but is also a community of women who are committed, faithful, and devoted to serve Jesus through this ministry. For these things, I am most grateful.

From My Heart to Yours,

Susan Miller signature

I always keep pom-poms in my car

pom poms
I always keep pom-poms in my car. You just never know when you might need to cheer someone on, or who might need a wave of encouragement. I’ve shown up with pom-poms at the airport, the hospital, birthday parties, sports events — anywhere I can add a touch of sunshine to someone’s day. I especially love showing up at soccer and basketball games to cheer for my grandchildren and their teams. My family used to give me that look that says, “Oh no, she’s going to do THAT again!” But after all these years, they are used to it, and even expect the pom-poms to appear.

When my son, Bill, told me he was coming to Phoenix to run the P.F. Chang Half Marathon, you can imagine my excitement. He had been training for the thirteen mile run for months, and wanted to break his previous running time. A few years ago, Bill and his sister  ran the race together, and I have a picture on my refrigerator with them crossing the finish line. Of course I was there, along with all six grandchildren, all of us waving pom-poms for their mom and dad. (I have a picture of them too!) So for the race this year, I was ready to cheer him on to victory at the finish line. I was so proud  when he accomplished his goal and beat his own record!

Someone said they couldn’t believe I would get up before daylight to get Bill down town for the race, fight the traffic, find a parking place, and join the crowds of spectators, when he could have done it on his own. But that’s what we do for our children, isn’t it? No matter how young or old they are, we are their cheerleaders through life. Whether it’s with pom-poms, words of praise, an expression of encouragement, or simply by being there for them — the things we do and say have a powerful positive influence on their lives. They don’t ever outgrow the need to be loved, affirmed, valued, and encouraged.

And, by the way, I’ve passed the pom-pom tradition on to the next generation in my family. They are equipped to cheer one another on to run the race of life and become the best they can be.

Susan

Right Under Your Nose

mother and daughterWhen I was growing up, mama used to always say, “It’s right under your nose, Susan!” In our family that always meant, what you are looking for, or what you need to do, or say, is so obvious!

The other day I had a “right under my nose” moment. It was so obvious, that I almost found myself saying, “Duh!” I acted on it immediately, and reaped the reward of being spontaneous and flexible with a dear friend.

So—what are some of the things that are “right under your nose” this year? Maybe it’s an old habit you want to change, or a new habit you want to cultivate. It could be a word you want to leave out, or perhaps add to, your vocabulary. You might want to write a note to someone encouraging them through a difficult time, or write an overdue letter asking for forgiveness. Is it something you’ve always wanted to take the time to do, a dream you want to make a reality, a promise you want to keep, or a phone call you need to make?

Perhaps you’ve been looking in all the wrong places, and making all the wrong choices this past year—to fill a need, to avoid the obvious, to cloud your judgment, to distract you from what’s important, to keep you from doing the right thing—when it’s been right under your nose the whole time.

Susan Miller

Six Words Worth Repeating During the Thanksgiving Season

wordsI’m getting a little bit crazy with the holidays coming.

Calendar getting full… schedule time with friends… ministry is busy… thinking about turkeys—the ones on sale… stuffed or unstuffed this year?.. remember to find recipes… make list of ingredients… pull fall decoration boxes from garage… take a deep breath… Christmas boxes are next to them.

Say it isn’t so. Really?

It is obvious that my mind is like a merry-go-round, whirling with things to do. You are probably not far behind me. Let’s take a minute from this craziness before it consumes us. You and I both know there is so much more than the tasks and to-do lists of the holidays.

Simply put, Thanksgiving is all about being thankful.

I stop and get off the high horse I am riding. I refocus from doing to being. I let my thoughts drift to the people who matter in my life. My heart begins to overflow with thankfulness. My mind is flooded with gratitude. I need to tell them how much they mean to me. I need to share what I feel through my words, in the midst of showing them I care through my actions.

This is how I will begin…

I LOVE you because…

I APPRECIATE you for…

I VALUE you because…

I ADMIRE you because…

I RESPECT you for….

THANK YOU for…

How about you? Now is the perfect time to say what you’ve been meaning to say for a long time—to your spouse, your children, your family, and your friends.

From my heart to yours,

Susan

Knee Deep in Lemonade and Life Lessons

Cousin CampCamp NanaPapa, better known as Cousin Camp, has come to an end for another summer. Every July, I look forward  to having all six grandchildren, ages seven to thirteen, together for a cousin reunion. They make crafts and bake cookies, play board games and kickball, swim and bike ride, take long walks and watch movies. They laugh and cry, scuff knees and feelings, stay up late, and sleep in, drink gallons of lemonade, and eat countless peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I love every minute. I watch, participate, listen, and learn. I have captured the memories with pictures, and have tucked the tender moments in my heart.

God continues to teach me life lessons through the world of my grandchildren, and reminds me of things I know, but can easily forget in the busyness of my daily life. I thought I would share a few things God taught me at Cousin Camp this summer.

It’s not about me. I learned to put aside my schedule, my agenda, and my wants. Cousin Camp is just that—it’s all about the cousins.

Have no expectations. The sooner I learned to relax and let go of any expectations of our time together, the smoother the days went, and the more fun we had.  God had to work with me on this one!

Above all, don’t compare. I was reminded that comparing grandsons and granddaughters who are different ages, have different personalities and temperaments, and come from two different family life-styles, is so unfair to the child. Accepting their differences allows each one to be who God made them to be, without the pressure of performance to please.

Movies vs. games. There is a huge difference in watching movies, and playing board games together. You have to be quiet to listen and watch a movie. Board games encourage conversation and interaction. There is a time for both, but I learned not to defer to movies to keep everyone occupied.

Crafts are good for all ages. I was surprised to learn that everyone from seven to thirteen, both boys and girls, loved doing crafts! It was fun, messy, and an opportunity for them to express their individual creativity. A lot of things happened. They shared ideas and supplies, learned from each other, and complimented each other on what they did.                                                                        

Deck talk is magic. After dinner, we would sit on the deck, with only a few lanterns to give us a glow in the dark. It was amazing how the conversation flowed, when there were no distractions. With a few questions, I learned about what they were thinking, things they were doing, and caught a glimpse of life through their eyes.

A little space is a good thing. Every child needs some time and space to do their own thing. I learned they don’t have to always do everything together, or in a group.

It’s caught, not taught. Kindness, thoughtfulness, and being considerate of others are best caught through the example of how I treat them, and others. Pointing out the error of their ways, in front of everyone else can be embarrassing and humiliating. If I had to resort to correct someone’s behavior, I would do it one-on-one, away from everyone else. We would sit on the floor together, eye level, and talk it through, ending with a hug and a smile that conveyed my unconditional love.

Choose your battles. I learned to ask myself—“Is this a hill high enough to die for?  Am I making a mountain out a mole hill? At the end of the day, will it really matter?”

A sense of humor goes a long way. I learned to lighten up, laugh a lot, and that being silly brings giggles from all ages.

Manners matter.  Please, thank-you, excuse me, I’m sorry, chew with your mouth shut, elbows off the table—have always been a part of “Nana’s Manners” and manners are not left at the door at Cousin Camp.  My daughter often says in jest, “You don’t want to have to go to “Nana’s Manners School”—it lasts for two hours!”  I learned that you don’t give up on what matters.                                                                                                                           

Hold hands and stick together.  Cousin Camp is all about connecting with each other, building memories, and learning the importance of being a part of something bigger than yourself—your family. I learned that when you encourage them to hold hands, and stick together, one day you will have the joy of seeing them do it on their own.

I am also reminded that these are not just lessons learned regarding my grandchildren, but also with my adult children and their spouses, extended family, friendships, and those I serve with in ministry. Lord, keep teaching me, reminding me, and never let me forget. Humble me all the more…

Susan Miller