5 Things to Remember When You Don’t Know What To Do Next

There have been seasons in my life when I absolutely did not know what to do next. I let fear of the unknown and confusion of the moment consume my thoughts.

What about you? Have circumstances or a situation paralyzed your thinking, your discernment, your decisions, or your choices?

When your life is overwhelming, hopes and dreams are shattered, promises are broken, love is lost, and plans are forgotten—what will you do? When your journey is long, the road is rough, and you’ve made too many wrong turns along the way, where will you go?

Over the years, I’ve learned to take my direction from Psalm 37.

Psalm 37

 

Trust in the Lord

Do you have a problem with trusting because your trust has been broken in the past? Listen up friends – you can believe what God says in the reality of His Word. He is totally and completely trustworthy. 

God is not a trust-breaker, He’s a trust-builder.

You can trust Him with your whole heart. He will not let go of your hand during the good times or the bad times. He’ll walk with you through the valleys and climb with you to the mountain top. He will not fail you or forget you. And believe me, I know this for a fact.

The emphasis to trust is repeated in verses 4 and 5. I get the message, don’t you? Let’s repeat over and over again, “I will trust in the Lord. I will trust in the Lord.”

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Hebrews 3:5

Delight in the Lord

How do you delight in the Lord’s presence when you don’t feel it? I discovered delight in the Lord by intentionally getting to know Him on a deeper, more intimate level. As I began to understand and know God and grasp His unconditional love for me, delight and joy began to fill my heart.

People, possessions, and circumstances will bring you temporary joy, pleasure, and delight.

People will disappoint you, possessions will come and go, circumstances will change—only Jesus will satisfy the longing and emptiness in your heart.

Your words are what sustain me. They bring me great joy and are my heart’s delight… Jeremiah 15:16

Commit your way to the Lord

To commit to the Lord means entrusting everything–our lives, families, jobs, possessions–to Him, knowing He will work out what is best for us.

Sometimes it’s just hard for me to let go and commit everything to God. I want to commit everything to my way, with my plan, the way I think it should be.

But God’s plan is so much better than mine and I trust Him more than I do myself. God guides me with His word, directs me with His promises, and leads me with His instructions. He’s a lot better at caring for us than we are.

Into your hands I commit my spirit; redeem me, O Lord, the God of truth. Psalm 31:5

Rest in the Lord

Are you overwhelmed, weary, and worn-out? I can easily hit two out of three of those feelings on any given day.

On those days, I’ve learned to run to the arms of Jesus. He always provides the comfort and care that I need. Lean in to Him. Lean on Him.

Pull away from all that consumes you. Let your mind dwell on Him and in His word. Be still and quietly reflect on God’s goodness and your gratitude. Rest and abide in Him.

To abide is to “live with” or to remain in one place with someone. Jesus is available anywhere, or anytime, to be with us. I’ll meet you there with Him and we’ll rest together.

Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

*Wait on the Lord

Are you waiting on life to change, or an answer to come? It’s hard, isn’t it?

We don’t always understand why we have to wait so long for all the pieces of life to come together again. It’s during the waiting, during the space between now and then, that much is learned. When I am in God’s waiting room, He teaches me about trust, patience, and prayer. I always tried to figure everything out myself, but I would only become anxious and worried.

While you are waiting, replace worry with worship. Listen to praise music and let it soothe your soul. Replace anxious thoughts with abiding. Take a deep breath and abide in God–trusting Him in all things–being patient for His timing and praying faithfully.

I waited patiently for the Lord, and He inclined to me and heard my cry. He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, and He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm…. Psalm 40:1-3

When you don’t know what to do next, consider this: You might be looking for the answers in all the wrong places and God has been there right beside you all along, just waiting for you to come to Him.

Susan Miller

Susan Miller

 

*Read more about waiting in the latest issue of Bloom from Just Moved Ministry.

A window into your husband’s emotions

This was written by me and my husband Bill in 2008 for a Valentine’s Day message one year before his death. I had asked him to share his thoughts on our years of moving, with the hope that it would give women insight and perspective into their husband’s often hidden feelings and emotions about moving. The message is timeless for marriages that are “on the move,” or even a gentle reminder for loving and understanding your man.

I thought this was a good time to share it again. This is my Valentine’s gift to you…

________________________________________________________________________

Bill and Susan MillerIn 2008 I wrote: “As some of you know, Bill and I have been married for 43 years. We have weathered 14 moves, along with major life transitions, and huge personal changes that come with uprooting and relocating a marriage, children, home, lifestyle, and relationships.

I asked Bill to share some of his thoughts, fears, and feelings during our difficult years of moving. I hope this will give you insight to understand your husband, and know how to best encourage and love him during a move.

I feel that If I had known what was going on in his head and heart then, I would have worked harder (and prayed more) at bridging the gap between us. I am amazed and humbled to know that anything I said or conveyed through my actions during those years was received as he has described below.

God has once again reminded me of His grace by allowing Bill to see me through eyes of love and a heart of forgiveness for all the times I failed to be loving and forgiving towards him.”

In 2008 Bill wrote: “Most men don’t talk about their feelings. If we did, we would tell you that they come right from the core of a man; they address his worth, his ability to provide for, and protect his family. Although I did not address those feelings at the time, they were real, and drove my motivation, my emotions, and my behavior.

Looking back at our many moves, I recognize my feelings of impatience with our children, frustration over things not coming together quickly enough, and even anger with Susan for not meeting my selfish needs. Doubt would flood my mind. Fear would creep into my day. I often thought I had made a terrible mistake by making so many corporate moves. I would ask myself questions like, ‘Why did I ever agree to take this job (or promotion) and uproot my family? Will I succeed at my new job (or position)? Will I be a fit? What will happen to our family if the job doesn’t work out and we have to move again?’

I felt the loneliness and emptiness of starting a new job before my family moved. It was hard to spend nights alone in my hotel room, in an unfamiliar city, when everyone else at the company would go home to their family. I would question why our house hadn’t sold before we moved, and how long it would be before we would be together as a family again. I would tell myself that I would have to work harder and longer hours to make the job and relocation a successful move in my career.

Pretty tough stuff, and believe me, I’m not comfortable sharing like this.

Susan and I were disconnected by miles and emotions and I wondered if we would ever reconnect.

What I didn’t know was how to help (or fix) Susan’s emotions while treading emotional water myself. We were fighting for our own survival, gasping for air, trying to keep our heads above water.

Her words of affirmation, encouragement, and the assurance of her unconditional love for me, were her pom-poms cheering me on each day during those difficult years. Her sacrificial love covered me with God’s grace each day while she minimized her hurts while helping mine to heal.

I have learned over the years that the total disruption of a marriage and family who move takes its toll on every member of the family, but not as much as on the relationship between husband and wife.

It’s easy for Satan to drive a husband and wife apart during a difficult, stressful time when they need each other the most. He will use anything–even a move–to destroy a marriage. I would say to couples–be united in Christ, pray against anything, or anyone, that would destroy your marriage. Claim God’s promises of hope. Recognize the stress cracks, and don’t let them divide and break you.

So, grab a pom-pom, and be your husband’s cheerleader! (I know you have a pom-pom if you’ve been around Susan). And, as a matter of fact, the principles in these tips can go both ways in a marriage, although men can skip the pom-pom…

  • Tell him you respect him and know how difficult it must be with a new job.
  • Try to breathe oxygen into his world by giving him lots of grace, reassurance, and understanding.
  • Look for things that he is doing right and then tell him.
  • Make it a habit to spend at least 20 to 30 minutes a day for each of you to debrief.
  • Be pro-active and plan down-time/date-time for just the two of you.
  • Communicate your love in ways that can be seen, heard, and felt.

When a woman encourages her husband, she gives him confidence and hope. When a man listens to his wife, he gives her honor and value. When they mutually communicate and connect with one another they begin the journey of moving closer together in any life change.”

Then Bill added, “That’s about it in a nutshell , Susan. I sure hope what I’ve said and learned will somehow give a couple greater insight for the road ahead in their marriage.”

In 2008, I wrote in my Valentine’s card to Bill:

I cherish you to the depth of my soul.
You are truly God’s greatest gift to me and the love of my life.
I love you with all my heart!
After all these years, I’d still follow you to the ends of the earth!
All My Love,
Your Susan”

In 2018, on this Valentine’s Day, those words are still written in my heart. I would only add: “…And one day, I’ll follow you to our eternal home, and we will be together again.”Susan Miller

Susan Miller